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This is

1990 by Star System, Jamul, CA

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Liber Abyssimus
Star System Publication in Class B
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Imprimatur
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ComRelatio, Magus
LightBlazer, Magister
Artemis, Magister

Shiva, Philosopher
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From the Autumn Equinox of 1980, until the beginning of November in 1982, the Magickal Record was subtitled, This is the Book of the Crossing of the Abyss. For our amusement, we will now look at this tale from its beginning, during the time of residence in a garage in Pasadena, California, and ending upon departure from the Magickal Island; a total of 26 months of internal distress.

Spiritually speaking, an Abyss is a veil, or a gap in consciousness, which separates two levels of being. "The" Abyss is the gulf between the mind (Manas – the mental plane) and the intuition (Buddhi, or the Buddhic plane). This is also described as the negative state that lies between Chesed and Binah on The Tree of Life.

The internal state associated with this Veil is that of desolation and undoing (for it is a negative state, also called reversal). This process has been variously called the Crucifixion, as well as The Dark Night of the Soul.

There is an Abyss between all the spheres. Every significant level is separated from its neighbor by some type of an Abyss.

There are not many records available wherein the candidate dutifully writes down an ongoing, detailed description of the adventures encountered in the Abyss. Some elements of these passages are quite disturbing. We trust that this will be informative:

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This is the Book of the Crossing of the Abyss

Sept 23, 1980: Autumn Equinox. Energy rising. I performed a Tarot divination on the 8 . It is "All go," but the 'result' card is indolence. This is 'laziness.' More Jupiter energy is needed. My Thesis must first be completed.

Oct 18, 1980: Tarot says "Go to Binah, the Princess of Cups." The pull of the Abyss is getting stronger. Completion of the Thesis now becomes imperative. I am being forced by momentum to the great destruction. I yield to the Universal Initiator. The Thesis, the Oath, the Jump.

Dec 11, 1980: The Thesis ("Treatise" as I called it) was completed in November. Now, another New Mexico trip is planned. In preparation for that journey, scheduled for the last week in December (15 days from now), I re-affirm and re-align the Oath of the Abyss that I took so long ago (1965):

I hereby surrender all that I am, and all that I have, unto the White Brotherhood forever.

Dec 12, 1980: My "normal" consciousness has engaged in no joy for days. There is involvement and participation in events, and a flowing with time, yet underneath is the cavern of emptiness. Periodic feelings of depression sweep in and out like the tide. Yet, when I am alone, I recognize these to be pulsations of the Trance of Sorrow.

There is no Light to focus upon, the Sun has burned out. This is the theory of the Black Hole as recognized by modern science, and it is that of the mystic. The magician, borne aloft from the ashes of the personality, lifted skyward from the ruins of the Temple of Truth, ascending as the Son of the Sun upon the wings of the Solar Angel, breaks forth as a light and a beacon for a greater or lesser period of time. But the phoenix does not burn in an eternal flame. There comes an end to life and joy. Death and sorrow – these are the culmination of ambition and aspiration.

Has it ever been any different? No, it has not. All things end in the negation of Power and Authority.

There is the cool, clear Light of the Silver Star overhead. This star, golden for ages (1976-80) as a symbol for the Angel, has now turned Silver. It is my only real focal point, yet it is a great distance away. I have crossed to it previously by rising on the planes, only to be immediately (upon contacting it) injected back into my physical vehicle or cast out into the Akashik Records.

Daily tasks are accomplished, but only with intense focus, and there is increasing clumsiness. No, that is not correct: There is, to put it more accurately, an increasing awareness of defects.

The task is to maintain Ki* by reflex, and to maintain the awareness of intuition; thus shall understanding be availed, and the Key of Sorrow be revealed.

* Ki = Qi = Chi = Life force, or Universal energy.

  • As a pile of sand you shall sit once more with them at the edge of night.

    In the Silence, a light develops. Sparks from the wand of Tahuti. A fore-shadowing of the coming of the Lord, the Avatar of __________* (This is a key to the nature and name of a member of higher status, and cannot be heard).

  • * It later turned out the word was: Avatar of Synthesis.

    "Must it come to this?" I say. Is there no other path but the destruction of that which is like Sodom and Gomorrah?

    And he who is appointed says: Reach forth with your Light from the heights, and those who perceive the call will seek you out. There is a fourth set of petals in the Lotus of the Heart. It responds to the Light of the Silver Star. The multi-colored facets of the jeweled rainbow secures the Path to Astralia – The Realm of the Star.

    Do nothing. Let the path grow out of you. Ponder the Star in the Black Hole.

    Dec 15, 1980: Today I am a little weak, but feeling somewhat productive. Yet, doubts are lingering underneath it all. Doubts about the Path as it reflects in the world; doubts about everything.

    Yesterday I was shut down with what appeared to be the 24-hour flu. Indolence in its highest state of sleeping combined with pain and the dispersing visions and experiences of the madness of Choronzon.

    Choronzon = Dispersion. The name of the Demon of the Abyss.

    The day before yesterday, my right arm was trembling, my left arm twittering, and my coordination such that I was continually dropping things.

    Suffice it to say that everything is shifting and re-adjusting: Plans, emotions, ideas, even physical-matter manipulation. Yet, I maintain! I teach classes at the appointed hours, and I remain properly groomed (except for the recent flu bout – when I went to the store; I had the dress, appearance, and outlook of a drunk or a heroin-addict – I felt like a demon crawling up out of the abyss).

    There remains naught but the vision of the Star and the performance of daily tasks. This is harmony. However, there remain traces of discord. Somewhere on the trip to Taos I will engage in the self-initiation ceremony of the crucifixion.

    The "Crucifixion" is the title of The Transhimalayan initiation into Binah. Crucifixion = "To be fixed on a Cross."

    On my last New Mexico journey (1966 - Las Cruces, of all places!), I consciously entered the Abyss and was "crucified" by the police of Globe, Arizona. That ceremony was imposed by the "World Globe." I was consciously held at the planetary ring-pass-not. The experience was accurate, but not a crossing of the Abyss. It was merely the "Ritual of the Passing through the Tuat.."

    The Tuat is the Aegyptian underworld.

    This time I go willingly to orient "my" consciousness with the cosmic cross, crucified, so that my deeds, feelings, thoughts, and creations shall show forth the Universal Will. I ask now that the ritual and circumstances be revealed as is fitting to the self-crucifixion of the Sanyasin:

    Sanyasin = A Transhimalayan term for the "Initiate" – Equivalent to the Adeptus Grades of the A\ A\

    The Sanyasin is free: He is the Exempt Adept who has accepted his Exemptus (freedom); he has fulfilled his duty, he has proclaimed the Way; he is the Hierophant and the Warrior in the Chariot; he looks to the Star and the way of Love; he bows down to Asi and enters the darkness.

    Asi = The Aegyptian "Priestess of the Silver Star."

    Let there be a Circle prepared:

    Facing East: The Banishing Ritual of Force and Fire. The Warrior.

    Facing South: The Invocation of Thoth. The Hierophant.

    Facing West: The Invocation of Ra-Hoor-Khuit. The Star.

    Facing North: The Affirmation of the Disciple. The Lovers.

    Facing Up: Extend the arms in the sign of the Cross.

    Dec 20, 1980: The Path is composed of three crosses: (1) The mutable cross = Humanity. (2) The fixed cross = The Initiate. (3) The cardinal cross = Cosmic.

    The 4th Transhimalayan Initiation (= Magister Templi, A\A\) is the climbing down from the fixed cross and the transferring to, and ascension of, the cardinal cross. Therefore, let another cross be erected, larger, to the North of the first circle/cross, and let there be an abyss between the two.

    After equilibrating the fixed cross, pass over to the cardinal cross and behold the Avatar.

    Dec 21, 1980: Winter Solstice.

    Dec 22, 1980: Spirits up a bit today. I am designating the New Mexico venture as the physical basis of the 8 ceremony – The ascending of the cardinal cross. I will not necessarily be claiming the 8 if the journey survives, but merely attempting to establish the physical basis for the ceremony to be "grounded upon." The inner plane workings must also be accomplished before the "claiming" of the Grade may be established. This may, or may not, be coincidental with the venture.

    Estar plans to accompany me, thus fulfilling the requirement for "Mastery" that states: He who would aspire to Mastery, to accomplish the task, must approach as an Adept to the Holy Place, leading the hand of the Neophyte.

    And also: He who would accomplish the Great Work must climb the mountain twice, once by day (Magic) and once by night (mystic), and the second time he must bring someone with him.

    Dec 27, 1980: Albuquerque. Muffler fell on my nose. The blood sacrifice is always extracted one way or another.

    Dec 28, 1980: Albuquerque to Taos. Target Taos reached over the "Old Taos Trail" and the "Kit Carson Trail" up the Rio Grande Valley. Taos: No property found. Everything in New Mexico is nice and quaint and deep, but it is a desert!

    I am split in three directions (Choronzon dispersion): Colorado City, San Luis Valley, or Durango. Intense pressure calls for a decision. I eliminate the north-east (Colorado City) as being too close to big cities and military bases. I hope for Durango, and do not want to go north to Monte Vista in San Luis Valley, which is, of course, the "middle path" (Durango being north-west).

    This is the trident of Shiva, and the Phoenix-wand. My inner sense says "Go to Monte Vista." I go to Monte Vista with a sense of failure, loss, and even a little dread. I am severely scrambled! It is dark. Upon lying down to sleep. I am congested in my sore and swollen nose. I cannot breathe well. I am restless. I see astral kaleidoscopes until 3:00 or 4:00 AM. I am not well.

    Dec 29, 1980: I awake in hell. My head is splitting. My back is spasmed. I am nauseated. I am dizzy. I just drive around town to try to come in focus while the Bufferin does its work.

    We go to a real estate office and, with virtually no expectations, ask for a land deal. Something sounds potential. We drive to see the land and a gate is locked. We expect to walk -mile, but it becomes closer to 3 miles at 8500 feet. The ordeal begins. We persevere only at my insistence. We are picked up by an old man, a trapper/hunter with dead animals in the back of his 4x4 truck, and he drives us the last half-mile or so. Estar says, "I didn't know people like him still existed!"

    We arrive: Bingo! Trees, a spring, rocks, plains, hot energy. I say this is it. The hunter drives us back to our car. We return to town. I call Mont and recommend the land. The (potential) deal is set in motion.

    This part of the task is over, and now I look forward to the symbolic ritual, but tonight I hope to give repose to the physical vehicle.

    Dec 30, 1980: Down from the mountains after crossing the Continental Divide at 10,000+ feet. Upon reaching Four Corners, the Monument is used as the fixed cross.

    The banishing and invocations are performed in the four directions. The area around the Monument is restricted: A symbolic ring-pass-not. I escape to the west, circle around to the north and aim at the massive, cresent-shaped shield that rises to the east of the Monument. Upon entering this Abyss, a definite effect is felt: A lightness and electricity.

    Physically, the crossing is harder than I expected; yet I finally arrive on the drest of the high ground. And that which passes there is not here recorded in intimate detail, but an outline is given:

    1. At the Brow: A sarcophagus. I enter and become One with the sleeping Avatar.

    2. At the Base: Surrendering all to the Great Mother.

    3. At the Heart: A re-alignment and this message/vision:

    I enter a Temple between two columns. A King with a beard allows me entrance. I pass out of the Temple and soar above the mesas. Then, shooting up, I behold a city above the clouds. The city is a black Temple with white trim and ancient letters. I enter and stand in the Temple.

    A priestess says: You are to be the Spear-bearer. You are but a child now. Grow, and take the place of your Father. Survive by maintaining Silence.

    I ask for a (my) name. The reply asks, "Who was it that destroyed the Temple in Atlantis?"

    Apontius Maximus Duo

    Apontius Maximus Duo = A.M.D. - "The great, two-way bridge."

    Thus the information is given. I solemnly swear to interpret all phenomena as a particular dealing of the Universal Spirit with my consciousness. It is finished!

    Mar 3, 1981: It is finished? After two months of reflection and confirmation, it can be said that something was finished: The climb to the "plateau;" the striving through discipline to a resting point where the need to progress upward ends. This is also the beginning of downward progress. That is, the real work is now at hand.

    The Avatar of Synthesis is the being to which I best respond. From Horus and the Christ to Djwhal Khul, Zoser and To Mega Therion, the smoothest meshing is with the Coming One who is identified with Atu , The Fool.

    Come forth, O Great Wall, Emissary of the Cosmic Logos; you, the Traveler of Time; the Lord of the Spheres; you are the Son of the day and the night; you are One, and thee I invoke. Come forth and in picture and word, show forth unto me your face, your work, and your plan:

  • See here in the middle of emptiness how I stand forth among the stars, with black lightning and white shadows upon my palms. Vision of a black & white, counter-charged, Fool.
  • A being, identified as the Prime Minister, appears and says, "The Avatar of Synthesis, the Traveler of Time and Lord of the two poles, is an emissary and outgrowth of the Cosmic Logos who stands as Father to our Sun. His agents, the Sons and Daughters of Holy Fire, are empowered to bring about acts of fusion in accordance with the Plan of Destiny, and act as representatives of that Plan."

    As my agent, you must bring about a reconciliation between opposing forces in the minds of men. No pro; no anti; stick to the middle ground.

    This is the symbol to be taught for telepathic rapport . . .

    You have but to flicker to me, and my thought is yours.

    Mar 23, 1981: Division is thy name, O Thou of Night. Divided against yourself, how can you stand? The schism is almost complete; struggle not, for your foe is sorely grappled about your throat. Let all things pass, that the grip of death may pass also through the gate of authority.

    Jun 13, 1981: Choronzon is again upon me. Even as Perdurabo wrote in Liber 418: One must cross the Abyss twice – The first time with assistance, the second time in full consciousness.

    I am floating around in the interim between crossings, in preparation for the final leap. Already I am committed To Go. (Everyone who bears the Ankh is so committed).

    Alternately the shining face shows forth the eye and then the black triangle. Radiations of light & dark, cyclic, are the basis of our etheric form. From twin Suns of Sirius come Horus and Harpocrates – Twin warriors. Even as Heru is the blender of strength and silence; even as yin and yang are blended in Tao; even as male and female become as One; so thus is my task. Light and darkness – twin forces, even as left and right hands – pulled down and countercharged for the eyes of Man .

    Dissolve each opposite in it's mate – an act of double synthesis. The result is and the freed twins dance with joy. Here is the final control of the elements: 4 = . Two are above the Gulf, two reflected below. Nothing is true – Nothing is false.

    For these power-brokers (Politicians & financiers), have no concern. Verily, the grip of death is upon this planet, but so too is the grip of life. I ask, "Shall we give this planet over to Slavery?"

    Fight from behind the Veil. Your weapon is non-attachment, your shield is emptiness.

    Your dry stone is crumbled into dust, your Light put out. You are nothing. You are but a hollow tube down through which I put my fire. And you are a Channel. Remember this !!!

    Sept 2, 1981: Alamosa, CO. The Final trip to Lhasa.

    Sept 13, 1981: A breath of cool air. An interlude of life. The past two weeks have been of mostly physical labor projects.

    Oct 11, 1981: The physical labor continues. The spirit must indwell in the labor.

    December 4, 1981: Star System is officially grounded by the Alamosa County Clerk.

    Having come unto Alamosa in the high country, much work resulted in the establishment of a (catering) business that functioned no more than 15 days.

    By December of '81, freezing weather, mechanical breakdowns, and a poor attitude in the homeplace from Mont's wife, brought me to further despair. Monetary needs caused me to reach out for employment. Christmas was spent alone with the dogs, and January even more tension-packed. The last week in January brought a trip to Denver and the obtaining of employment.

    On February 1, 1982, I moved to Denver and began work.

    Soon after setting up in Denver, I scanned the local alternative newspaper. I selected three spiritual centers to visit, but never got past the first one I attended. According to their ad, The Mansion of Metaphysics was recruiting "psychics" to give readings at their establishment. This place turned out to be a real mansion, recently opened, and run by a very "psychic" lady and her sympathetic husband. They offered a variety of consultations, lectures, and seminars, recruiting readers and lecturers from all over the country. Fortunately, this was just a sideline, inexpensive business. It was not a tong. I ended up visiting at the Mansion almost every night and every weekend for about five months; it became my new, fraternal organization.

    There was an older woman at the Mansion who was a professional psychic who had recently held metaphysical classes and performed readings/consultations in Oregon. She claimed that the CIA had been sending operatives to her classes. Well, this sounded fairly paranoiac, but that agency had actually been searching high and low for reputable psychics as part of their endeavors to use psychic energy as part of their operations.* So we'll give her the benefit of the doubt. In any case, she was so disturbed by this that she abandoned her practice and ended up in Denver.

    * The Soviets certainly did this. See the book, Psychic Discoveries Behind The Iron Curtain. Also, earlier I received confirmation of US psychic experiments directly from a CIA employee.

    One day, we were discussing past lives, and I commented on how I had received glimpses of possible previous existences, and that I had received a "past life" reading or two from other people, but nothing really impressed me. She offered to guide me through a past-life regression (as the process had come to be known), and we set an appointment.

    The basement in the Mansion had been taken over by the Mansion's "manager," an outspoken lesbian who had been an initiate of the (U.S.) Golden Dawn, but who now was into Wicca or some similar spirit-nature work. The basement, paneled and furnished, was her temple. Filled with animal skulls, feathers, and an assortment of sorcerer-type implements, I found it to be somewhat creepy.

    We used the basement for the 'regression' as it was private. I started by performing a Banishing Ritual (this resulted in interesting results the next day). Then we got quiet and this elderly lady started guiding me back in time. As I moved back in my "Magical Memory," I took the ball and ran with it. I breezed past recorded history and pre-recorded history, and found myself looking at The Temple at the Beginning of Time. My Record stated:

    The Temple at the Beginning of Time

    In the vastness of nothingness, at the beginning of time, I came upon the Temple of First Cause. It always is. Entering therein, I dissolved in the gaseous light of undifferentiated bliss beyond; and then swung freely to and fro; beyond and back; passing cyclically through the pillars of the Temple. Thus I came unto the eighth level in the first phase: Atmadarshana, the Vision of the Creation of the Universe. And so I became, even in the physical, the Master of the Temple in the great Mansion of Metaphysics in Denver, Colorado, in the Spring of 1982.

    I verbally recited my experiences as they occurred, and they went on for quite a while. After the experience, my guide said, "I've never seen anyone go that far back!"

    The next day, our lesbian manager went ballistic. Not for any particular reason (only we knew that a Banishing had taken place). She threw fits, screamed at everyone for just being alive, and then quit! By the end of the week all her sorcery implements had been removed and the basement was just a nice, quiet room.

    The main event at the Mansion was a weekly Open House, where the public came and listened to brief lectures and demonstrations, and then they received short, psychic readings from (as many as) six different practitioners. I was one of the practitioners. Someone had to open the meetings and introduce the speakers and psychics. Almost immediately, I was asked to be, and was then formally appointed as, the "Master of Ceremonies." The lady who owned the Mansion said, "I always enjoy a true showman."

    Then came the night that we went on the radio. There was a local radio program that hosted guests of a metaphysical nature. After a preliminary interview, people would call in with their (usually petty and mundane) questions. Three of us went on the air: Myself and the two daughters. After the initial pleasantries, people starting calling in. The daughters had a well practiced repertoire, in which they would both get into the reading, alternatively speaking, joking, laughing, and presenting their consultation in an often sarcastic and irreverent manner. ("Oh no! You've got to get rid of this creep. He's really bad news!"). Essentially, I sat quietly in the background and listened to this astounding, but amusing, show.

    When someone would (rarely) call about a truly spiritual matter, the host directed the question to me. He seemed pleased with my replies ("Well I'm certainly happy to hear you say that!), and appeared to be semi-shocked by the responses coming from the giggling duo. To be fair, their answers were right on the mark and their advice was sound. It was their modus operandi that was a bit too hilarious. The show went on for one and one-half hours. The next day we heard that the radio station had received an unusually large number of calls complaining about the irreverant nature of the program.

    By April of 1982, Mont had informed me of his degenerating situation in Alamosa and of his plans to return to California.

    Then, in May, the Mansion's neighbors launched a series of complaints about the automobile parking overload in the area. The establishment said, "No more!" and the Mansion of Metaphysics came to a sudden end.

    Anicca, Anicca - Everything passes Away !

    And I took thought : "Why am I staying here now?" So I purchased a mobile home, gave my notice at work and at home, packed all my belongings, and upon the 1st of June set off for the Magickal Island. Arriving there with haste and efficiency, I set up an Island abode . . .

    The Final Stages of Dissolution

    By mid-August (1982) I was again feeling restless, and this grew.

    Notice that recently there is no report of mystical adventure. I am sometimes as one dead. Over the past few weeks, I have reinstated daily meditation, and go without guilt in that regard. Yet neither messages nor insights arise.

    I am in an isolated location on a remote island. I love the surroundings and have no hassles with others. I am also out of funds. So I must now appeal to the gods: The forces that move unseen to arrange events. Thus the hermit finds loneliness, but seeks to find reputable and worthy action.

    Within 10 seconds of writing the above entry, I was called out the door and into the car as we went off to work: Building an entire house! At least the day-to-day bills can now be paid.

    Oct 17, 1982: Avatar: Send me of your Light.

    . Behold the two faces of time. One carries you upon the wings of love; the other thrusts you into caverns of despair. Neither must dominate. Slow and fast are the subjective sources of life. Yet, within the bounds of synthesis, I bring a stabilization of Chronos. Concealed behind the two veils, lies the Eye of which you know. That Eye am I – be one with me and time becomes our slave. .

    Nov 1, 1982: This is the land of death. My desire to die has brought me to a complimentary vibration. Now is the time to break the stalemate.

    Avatar of Light, upon you I call, you I invoke: For strength, for Will, in the coming ordeal I ask your overshadowing. For speed and safety I ask your overshadowing. For fortune and progress I ask your overshadowing.

    Let it begin. I have brought myself to the land of death in various stages. I am dead. Let me resume my career; let me do thy Will.

    Within three hours of writing the above, I received a message, saying, "Come to Los Angeles by air." The next morning, I flew off San Juan Island and arrived shortly in L.A.

    After that things picked up.
    I had passed beyond the Abyss of Dispersion and Despair.

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    < Click on the White Unicorn to see the Epilogue.

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